I’m not alive.
A dead man comes to me and ask ”How is it like to be alive?”
I had no answer.
I am now in search of life. I look at every corner of my room, I look at places outside where I had never been but now I wonder it was never about being alive. Why would a dead man ask such a thing? Doesn’t he know how it was like to be alive.
I could see my parents smiling at me, my neighbor’s girl awaits to take a glance of me. Look at the kids down the street, they look beautiful!
Have I found my life yet?
My search itself confesses that even I never realized how it was like to be alive.
Too many people bleed for happiness, they thirst of gladness and cry for pleasures. Within we seek to be content but from the outside we are inhuman. The reasons that give us pleasures are all not virtual. They can be touched and felt. They are infinite and spread across the whole universe and one thing that drives these pleasures is the urge to stay alive forever but not just being alive, its about bleeding in happiness and quench the thirst of gladness. Pleasures are those warriors that fight in the war of perpetual self actualization (self-satisfaction) and in the midst of war we forget, what are we fighting for? Pleasures are contagious once you are infected your bloodstream flows faster, you bang your head and shout aloud. It makes you feel like falling down from the skyline and you don’t know where is the earth. If tomorrow you wake up, you will have more of such wants. The want of pleasures multiply faster than you could imagine. One says, “She has plenty of material happiness and he craves for physical pleasure”. Other says, “My mother enjoys cooking and the pleasure of eating is extraordinary” but for me it was always a pleasure to have my neighbor’s girl looking at me. Our senses to feel, touch, hear, taste, actually completes the circle of pleasure and we become slaves to our own desires and revolve in the same circle overtime. In the long run we forget Why are we surviving for?
Isn’t pleasure the most pleasurable? Well it is! I too thought the same and that is why I had sleepless nights, I worked more and earned even more. I had some comparisons with my own friends and relatives and wanted to grow in all aspect. The want for pleasure continued and I was trapped in the circle of pleasures. I am human but now, was turned a beast.
Have I found my life yet?
I seek it in my heart but its not beating anymore. I seek it in my mind but its not thinking anymore, so I wonder it was never about being alive because I was forever lost in seeking those pleasures that I thought would make my life complete. Instead I was injected with contagious pleasures that obliged me to forget the worthy of being alive. The dead man was not wrong how would he know, what is it like to be alive when all his life he craved for only pleasures.
My consciousness woke me up with a jerk, I looked around and it was all the same but there was something unusual about this morning, my parents were smiling at me, as I left home my neighbor’s girl took a glance of me. While I walked down the street I saw school kids and they looked beautiful. I think I found my life back, I found it in those little pleasures.
Then suddenly a man comes to me and whispers silently, “Now I know how is it like to be alive”.